When a man says..."I want to be your biggest fan."

I once had a guy that I was dating tell me: "I figured you were tired of hearing you were beautiful, so...I decided before we were dating that I wasn't going to tell you that often." 


I wish I could go back in time and change what I said to him. In fact, I can't even remember what I replied with. I'm sure it was something half-stunned and not very accurate to what I was feeling in that moment. If I could scuttle into a time-machine and transport myself back to that moment I would give him a solid piece of advice that I think would help him in his later years of dealing with women...

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" 

I think that's pretty accurate to what I was feeling in that moment.
You know, and now that I think about it, maybe he was trying to make it sound like a half sort of complement? Maybe? I guess I'll never truly know...but, I would like to translate that seemingly innocent statement to what a woman hears:

"Hi, I'm the man who you adore the most...the man you absolutely love...the man you really only care to look beautiful for...and I've decided I'm not going to tell you you're pretty."


The first part of the statement ("I figured you were tired of...bla bla bla") is almost completely un-heard and irrelevant to a woman. She'll take the last part of the statement ("...So I've decided to not tell you that often...") and it'll feel like a small knife to her heart.

It doesn't matter if she's the most beautiful woman in the world and everybody has told her 10,000x...she CRAVES to hear it from you, the man she loves, more than anyone.

ANYONE.
Anyone.

Got it? (Men, go tell your woman she's pretty)

Women are strong creatures, but we're also very vulnerable, very fragile. I know some women will probably disagree, but I'd say as a general statement this is extremely true. We are sensitive, so deal with us gently.

I've always fancied myself a strong-willed woman; I'm highly independent and extremely adventurous. I've known what I've wanted for a long time and I've ventured out to try and make those dreams happen...but deep down, there will always be the desire to be taken care of and loved more than anything else. It's innate to women, we're wired this way.

Jamers recently called me up out of the blue and said "Hey babe, I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm sorry...I'm sorry I haven't been your biggest fan as much as I should be. I want to be your biggest fan and I'm going to work on that." I was completely surprised by his apology and frankly couldn't understand what he meant. I mean, James is the kind of guy who will show up on your doorstep with a rose in hand and a ridiculous grin on his face. The kind of guy who hands you a little gourd and says "I got this for you to put by your bed...for Fall!" I mean, really? I gourd!? What kind of man goes out of his way to buy you a gourd to put by your bed for the Fall season? AN AMAZING MAN. That's what kind of man. (Men, go buy your woman a gourd)

Anyways...

I didn't understand his apology...until tonight.

Yesterday I put together a Pinterest Board of pictures that inspire me (decorating wise) for my future apartment. Now, I'm nowhere near getting an apartment, or have the kind of money that it would take to decorate an apartment this way; but I still immensely enjoy planning and brainstorming ideas for the future. Last night I asked him if he had seen any of the pictures (I was curious to see what he thought of my style) and he responded with "Oh, no? I didn't see them...I'll have to check them out tomorrow after work." No problem. It wasn't of dire importance that he look at the pictures and I honestly wouldn't have minded if he never even looked at them.

Today James spent around 9 hours washing windows. I can only imagine how tired and hungry he must be when he gets off work...9 hours of window washing!? That's tough. Especially on top of being a full time creative genius filmmaker man.

Despite that though, I received a text from him around 7:00pm that read: "Just got home from work, I'm gonna go inside and check out your picture postings!" 


I was blown away.

I literally could not believe he remembered (after washing windows for hours, being probably starving and extremely tired) to look at my silly pictures.

THEN, he called me...to talk about my pictures.
TO TALK ABOUT MY PICTURES!

He wanted to know where I drew my inspiration from, why I liked the colors I liked, he gave ideas for art and just listened to me babble on excitedly about each and every little minute detail (knowing all the while that it wasn't even a possibility at this point to implement any of these ideas.)

Wow.

In that moment I got it; James is my biggest fan.

What makes me excited, makes him excited.
What makes me happy, makes him happy.
What's important to me...often comes before what's important to him.
And he never makes me feel anything short of brilliant.

I've never had a biggest fan like him. He unashamedly protects me and flaunts me, see's through my "independent" exterior to my softness and genuinely takes interest in whatever I'm excited about. It's beautiful.

I don't think he truly knows the kind of impression he's leaving on my heart, but I do hope he knows It makes me want to strive more to be HIS biggest fan, to go out of my way to make him feel special and remembered.

It means very little to have everybody tell you you're special, loved or beautiful...but it means EVERYTHING to have one person...a biggest fan.

Sure there will be plenty squabbles to come, but it's been a huge blessing to me to realize my biggest fan isn't someone sitting somewhere on the sidelines. He's the person right there in the midst of the game, playing right along side me, encouraging me and frankly, taking the bigger beating for me - I think we're off to a great start.

Thank you for looking at my pictures Jamers. :)