A Christmas Letter for My Favorite Little Sister

Dear Shelli,

I never thought I would actually say this. In fact, it's actually hard to type it out...
BUT, I think I'm actually going to miss your crazy antics tomorrow morning. I mean, for pete's sake, I'm pretty sure if Nicci and I were still living in the same house with you, you'd wake us up at the butt crack of dawn on Christmas morning until you were way past your thirties.

I'm going to miss hiding my smile in the pillow, pretending to be terribly annoyed with you tugging on me, poking me and jumping on my bed trying to get me to wake up to open stockings.

It'll be weird getting myself up tomorrow, the silence will bring a stark realization that I miss you terribly.

I wish I could emerge from my bedroom wrapped up in "cow" and shout "SNUGGLELY WUGGELY!" and jump next to you on the couch. I wish I could slap your feet away from me when they start to do that really weird wiggley movement that you get from dad. So awkward.

Is Love JUST a Choice?

I, like many of you, have grown up with the saying "Love is a Choice." etched into my brain and soul from a very young age. I've seen a little of the good, the bad and the ugly of marriage and I can understand why people would say the previous statement with such fervent passion...I guess when you get down to the nitty gritty of love, it is a choice. It's a grin and bear it, hold-on-when-you-don't-want-to kind of thing...at least, that's what I assume (not being married and all).

I get that.

I respect that.

I want a husband who's going to love me for forever. We're a team. We're going to be fighters. We're going to love when we don't want to and make the choice to stay committed no matter what. Why? Because...Love IS a choice. A choice, a choice, a choice, a choice.

But, with this said, I hate that statement with a welling passion.

Loath it.

I want to run over it with a Army tank, feed it to a thousand sharks and then send a pack of wild rhinos to trample over it...that's how much I hate that statement.

Why?

Because, I believe it has done a horrible disservice to me (and probably many others like me) in my search for love throughout the years.

My Name Creed.

I was looking through some old Facebook note posts (that I never published) and I came across a 2007 one titled "My Name Creed." In it I had written my name (Christi) vertically and subsequently attached description words to each letter in my name. These description words were the answer to the question "How do I want people to view me?" or I guess "What do I want to be known for." 


Now, I do not remember writing this note, nor do I remember the circumstances that inspired me to write what I did. But, I was very surprised to realize that the description words that I chose when I was a fifteen are exactly the same words I would choose today.

Throughout the generations, a persons' name has been very important. Biblically speaking, names/name meanings were so important to Jesus that he ultimately ended up changing several of his followers and disciples names. (Saul to Paul, Simon to Peter...etc) Likewise, several times Jesus was known for asking "Who are you?" or "What is your name?" Names have significant meaning. When someone says "Do you know Betsy Joe?" If they do...they instantly associate that name with their current presuppositions or feelings in relation to Betsy Joe. If Betsy Joe is a bit of a pill, they'll say "Sure I know Betsy Joe...I don't like her very much." Likewise, if we knew an gent named Joe (who was a horrible brute of a guy) we'd probably never name a child "Joe." Not because the name is inherently bad, but because we've attached a "MEANING" to that name beyond what the original meaning entailed...we've attached a Name Creed.