Today I was hungry. Hungry for bacon. I'm not a big sandwich person...slimy lunch meat, squares of cheese...it's totally not appealing to me. However, I do love me a BLT. I feel somewhat better about this lunch choice, than, say, a burger...why? Because two of the main ingredients are VEGETABLES! (All you people who are going to leave comments saying "Nuh-uh Christi, A tomato is a fruit!" just need to be quiet and let me pretend I'm healthy.)
...*eheem* So, I was hungry for bacon. A BLT sandwich to be more precise. I drove my giant silver boat, Fat Maryanne, through a Tom's Place drive-through. Tom's Place has the best BLT sandwiches in the world. If you don't believe me, you go order one and try to fit your mouth around the whole sandwich. It's impossible. Impossible I tell you! The sandwich walls are too thick to scale with one chomp. One must slowly attack and nibble it from all angles...savoring the bacon goodness with every bite.
When I arrived home, I unwrapped my BLT sandwich from it's white wrapping paper. That's another thing I love about Tom, he wraps his food in white wrapping paper and let's everybody pretend it's Christmas or their birthday on any given lunch hour. *Tear* rip* *scrape* *rip* "Wha'd you get, man?!" I got, a...a...*tear*...a...*rip*...a breakfast burrito!...Wha'd yooouu get11?" "A BLT!" "WOAH, NO WAY!" "Tom's THE MAN!"
Tom IS the man. But, as I was sitting here nibbling on my sandwich and drinking my small Mr. Pibbs, I had a thought occur to me..."Wait a second, who is this Tom?" I quickly grabbed my laptop and Googled "Who is Tom?" Tom Anderson a US internet entrepreneur, popped up before my eyes. Although he co-founded Myspace, he was not the Tom I was looking for. My Tom makes the best BLT sandwiches in the world, what did Mr. Tom Anderson make? A failing social networking website and waaaaaaaaay too many friends on Myspace. Boo, Tom, Boo.
I tried again...
This time I Googled "Who is the Tom that makes the best BLT Sandwiches in the world? Sadly, I was greeted by this wet man:
I think his name is Tom Daley (Yes, I cheated and read the front of the magazine). And, I think he is an Olympic swimmer (totally cheated again). Or, if not, he's just a weirdo who enjoys wearing wet clothes. OBVIOUSLY, this is not the Tom I was looking for either. If this Tom tried to make the best BLT sandwich, he would totally fail, because it would be soggy. Gross, Tom. Go wring yourself out.
My quest continued...I turned to my handy dandy Google search bar again: "Who is the Tom from Tom's Place?"
Curses! A very tiny picture of Sparkly TOM shoes was the first thing that came up. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good pair of sparkly TOM shoes. However, shoes do not lead me to the Tom who is Tom from Tom's Place!!!
I was feeling rather defeated but gave it one last try. Perhaps Tom had an "About Me" page on his restaurant website: I Googled "Tom's Place Restaurant."
...Nothing.
...Nada.
...Ziltch.
By all interweb standards, Tom's Place does not exist outside of a few reviews on Yelp. I could find nothing on the Tom who makes the best BLT sandwiches in the world. And, that makes me rather sad. Part of me wants to know what he looks(ed) like, the face behind my favorite sandwich. But, alas, perhaps Tom is just destined to be my mystery sandwich man.
Thanks for my awesome BLT, Tom.
...Whoever you are.
...*eheem* So, I was hungry for bacon. A BLT sandwich to be more precise. I drove my giant silver boat, Fat Maryanne, through a Tom's Place drive-through. Tom's Place has the best BLT sandwiches in the world. If you don't believe me, you go order one and try to fit your mouth around the whole sandwich. It's impossible. Impossible I tell you! The sandwich walls are too thick to scale with one chomp. One must slowly attack and nibble it from all angles...savoring the bacon goodness with every bite.
When I arrived home, I unwrapped my BLT sandwich from it's white wrapping paper. That's another thing I love about Tom, he wraps his food in white wrapping paper and let's everybody pretend it's Christmas or their birthday on any given lunch hour. *Tear* rip* *scrape* *rip* "Wha'd you get, man?!" I got, a...a...*tear*...a...*rip*...a breakfast burrito!...Wha'd yooouu get11?" "A BLT!" "WOAH, NO WAY!" "Tom's THE MAN!"
Tom IS the man. But, as I was sitting here nibbling on my sandwich and drinking my small Mr. Pibbs, I had a thought occur to me..."Wait a second, who is this Tom?" I quickly grabbed my laptop and Googled "Who is Tom?" Tom Anderson a US internet entrepreneur, popped up before my eyes. Although he co-founded Myspace, he was not the Tom I was looking for. My Tom makes the best BLT sandwiches in the world, what did Mr. Tom Anderson make? A failing social networking website and waaaaaaaaay too many friends on Myspace. Boo, Tom, Boo.
I tried again...
This time I Googled "Who is the Tom that makes the best BLT Sandwiches in the world? Sadly, I was greeted by this wet man:
I think his name is Tom Daley (Yes, I cheated and read the front of the magazine). And, I think he is an Olympic swimmer (totally cheated again). Or, if not, he's just a weirdo who enjoys wearing wet clothes. OBVIOUSLY, this is not the Tom I was looking for either. If this Tom tried to make the best BLT sandwich, he would totally fail, because it would be soggy. Gross, Tom. Go wring yourself out.
My quest continued...I turned to my handy dandy Google search bar again: "Who is the Tom from Tom's Place?"
I was feeling rather defeated but gave it one last try. Perhaps Tom had an "About Me" page on his restaurant website: I Googled "Tom's Place Restaurant."
...Nothing.
...Nada.
...Ziltch.
By all interweb standards, Tom's Place does not exist outside of a few reviews on Yelp. I could find nothing on the Tom who makes the best BLT sandwiches in the world. And, that makes me rather sad. Part of me wants to know what he looks(ed) like, the face behind my favorite sandwich. But, alas, perhaps Tom is just destined to be my mystery sandwich man.
Thanks for my awesome BLT, Tom.
...Whoever you are.
